Where do I even begin!? Since the country and almost the entire world went into full lockdown mode two months ago due to the global pandemic, life is unlike it’s ever been. Quarantining as a family of 5 and new mother has had its ups and downs. This has been one of the craziest times, not just for me and my family but for everyone worldwide. And whenever times get tough, I believe in finding the good and focusing on that—not just for my own sanity but for my children as their mother.
When Covid-19 hit the US hard and we were ordered to quarantine, I was nine months pregnant and due to deliver any day.
I spent my entire pregnancy visualizing an ideal, peaceful postpartum period, in a quiet home while my two older children would be at school during the day, allowing me to remain in bed, recuperating, savoring uninterrupted skin-to-skin moments with the baby as well as enjoying herbal baths and vaginal steaming from my postpartum doula. Suddenly, everything got turned upside down. There was unprecedented uncertainty around childbirth, which was the impetus to my decision to switch doulas at the last minute. (Read about the delivery and baby Rocco in this post!) Having a baby during a pandemic and then coming home with a newborn under quarantine adds so much stress to an already stressful experience. It’s even nerve wracking with your husband leaving to shop for groceries, especially when stores sell out of goods. No one predicted, even a few weeks before the lockdown all went down, what was to happen. But you adapt and make the best of a situation, and that’s exactly what the Morris household has been doing!
Since mid-March, our family of 5 has been all home together. How have we dealt with all this unknowing? We’ve adjusted! As best as we can, we have maintained somewhat of a routine. We’ve stuck, for the most part, to our usual breakfast and bedtime rituals. We’ve been doing our best homeschooling the kids (getting kids to focus on Zoom calls with teachers and classmates is quite challenging!) and caring for a newborn, all while Barton works full time and I continue working on my blog. But no matter how much structure we try to hold onto for the kids, let’s get real, it has still felt like Groundhog’s Day, over and over. We have been wearing our PJs all day. The kids have completely taken over the house. We can’t keep up with the mess. Toys are everywhere. I have a baby in my arms every minute. One room gets organized and immediately the next room gets messy.
I’ve had to refocus my attention on what’s important–health and happiness–and less on my typical OCD tendencies. Anyone else feel me?!
The Covid-19 lockdown has tested us as parents and as a couple in ways I never thought we’d be. Without our nanny and house cleaner, Barton has stepped up to cook, clean, and help with bath and bedtime routines. He is doing his absolute best to juggle work in a chaotic household while simultaneously supporting me, postpartum, and helping care for our kids. To say my husband has wowed me is an understatement!
At this stage in their lives, Roman and Isabella have never spent this much time together. Plus, they have bonded deeply with Rocco. That is a silver lining of this whole Covid lockdown mayhem. The kids are closer than ever before. They are tag teaming us; Roman uses Isabella as his accomplice. Just last week, they escaped through a window, crawled under a neighbor’s porch, and turned off our house’s gas line. As much as Barton and I wanted to be mad, we had to laugh at their craftiness and the fact that they are doing this together. The bond between siblings is so powerful and special!
That’s been the greatest challenge for us as parents:
Without the option to leave and go on adventures with the kids, how can we make this experience as fulfilling and heartwarming as possible and set aside our frustration with being confined and forced to stay put. All any of us want for our kids is to feel safe and protected.
And so I’ve come to realize the struggle of quarantine, especially with a family of young kids and a newborn, is all about letting go. That is our lesson and takeaway. We’ve all experienced this odd cycle of hopefulness and then uncertainty, round and round, worried this is never going to end. We can only control so much, especially when it comes to our children. Summer camps are cancelled, school is on the back burner. Yet there are still many positives: our family have never been together this much face to face EVER. My husband and I are both naturally positive people and so we have maintained upbeat energy. We are so excited to introduce baby Rocco to family and friends who haven’t met him and return to a sense of normalcy and socialism. The kids miss their friends.
Of course, we’re definitely supportive of all the rules and regulations. But that does not mean this has not been stressful and frustrating. I know so many of you can relate: it’s the little things, like missing out on your newborn’s photography session or your child’s graduation, that has made the pandemic lockdown harder than we expected.
I am hopeful we will beat this pandemic together–as a community. My wish is we come out of this stronger, more unified, and more conscious, individually and collectively. All we have is today; nothing is guaranteed. If there was ever a time to recognize all which we have and for which to be grateful, that is now. I implore you to do this and celebrate all the good moments, big and small.