As mothers, we often prefer to take on the burden of doing everything necessary to make our family units run smoothly. We so badly want to believe we can do it all. But mothering is not an easy task! It is the hardest job there is. We are our children’s protectors, caregivers, confidants, cleaners, organizers, chauffeurs, and more. While we’re expert multi-taskers, we can still feel overwhelmed. We hate admitting that because we think it’s a weakness. However, asking for help is absolutely essential to maintaining our personal wellness and that of our family members. Asking for help shows just how strong we are. Here are 5 easy ways to get help without feeling mom guilt
We often hear others say, “Ask a loved one for help, your friend, your neighbor, your mother, your aunt.” Yet as simple as that sounds, most of us are reluctant to do it. Practice, when overwhelmed, stepping back and examining how you’re feeling. Give yourself grace and space and reach out to those you think will be most helpful–not people who will be energy drains. These support people should give you a sense of relief. The reward and benefit of asking for help is great, a chance to have a moment of space, to recollect yourself.
1. Hire A Housekeeper
Consider hiring a housekeeper a few times a week to minimize the burden of all the mess kids can make in a home. Have you ever walked into your kitchen to find an absolute mess: leftovers in bowls on the counter, crumbs on the floor, dirty towels stained with sauce and who-knows-what. You know it’s going to be you who’s cleaning and scrubbing it all up, and that’s energy you rather put into other aspects of mothering. So ask for help and hire a housecleaner.
2. Order Prepared Meal Services or Use A Personal Chef
Subscribing to a prepared meal service or hiring a chef to meal prep is such a time saver! A few hours to yourself during the week can go a long way!
3. Babysitter/Nanny
A babysitter or nanny will give you time to take a break, to breathe. Do not underestimate the importance of taking a shower or listening to a podcast or taking a walk. This time alone will recharge you.
4. Personal Assistant
As crazy as it may sound, more and more women are hiring personal assistants to help out with day-to-day tasks. For instance, your assistant may respond to emails, run simple errands, and do other miscellaneous tasks you might push off until the very last minute which causes you unnecessary stress. The more someone can help you check off your to-do list, the less mental load you’ll carry.
5. Mother’s Helper
Think outside the box and consider hiring a mother’s helper. Different from a traditional babysitter/nanny, a mother’s helper helps out while you’re home. Consider inviting the sixth grader a few doors down to come over a couple afternoons a week. While she’s playing with your kids, you can put things away around the house or even take a bathe. A mother’s helper does not have sole responsibility over your children and therefore usually is a bit younger than a babysitter. Bonus: it’s a less expensive childcare and an easy way to have extra hands in the house.
6. Postpartum Doula – Bonus
Having a postpartum doula will significantly lessen your uncertainty around breastfeeding, hormone regulation, and general newborn concerns. When someone who is experienced comes to your home and provides educational relief and support, you’ll be reminded you’re doing just fine!
We as women have to get to a place where we’re willing to accept help and appreciate it. We should never feel guilty about that. Embrace the fact that it literally takes a village to raise children. And when we are given the space to recenter ourselves, we are more mindfully present.
We only have so much energy, so it’s important to prioritize. Ask for help so you can mentally feel better, healthier, and more vibrant, which in turn allows you to do your job better. To be a better person, be a better partner, be a better mother, and overall feel better in every single way.